Learning Love

 Affection isn’t something my grandmother grew up with. Raised in a home where survival came before softness, her parents believed that providing food and shelter was enough. Verbal or physical affection wasn’t part of their parenting model, and that lack of emotional warmth trickled into how my grandmother raised her own kids. My mom, however, decided to break that cycle. She made room for hugs, kisses, and “I love you” on a daily basis. Girls' day, heart-to-heart conversations, and check-ins were her way of making sure I felt loved in a way she didn’t. This shift is a perfect example of Bandura’s Social Learning Theory, which states that we often model behavior based on what we observe either to mimic or reject it (McLeod, 2025). My mom saw what was missing in her own childhood and chose a different path, and I, in turn, learned love through her actions. While my grandmother’s emotional distance may have stemmed from her upbringing, my mom’s warmth was a conscious choice that shaped how I show love today. It’s proof that nurture has the power to rewrite inherited patterns.